Building a long-lasting and meaningful relationship, especially a romantic one, takes a lot of time and effort. Even more so when trying to maintain a relationship while serving in the military. A few of the University’s married military-connected couples shared what challenges they faced, and the benefits of their commitment to one another.
Marine Corps Sergeant Levi “L.J.” Guerra ’27 and student-veteran Danny “Rem” Bellitt ’27 first met while stationed in Japan. Guerra is currently a student in the military visual journalism program in the and Bellitt is a U.S. Air Force veteran enrolled in the as an undergraduate student.
“Being in different branches that have no business working together definitely had its challenges,” says Bellitt, who served as a crew chief on C-17s and C-5s. “Being an aircraft maintainer meant working twelve-plus-hour shifts at night, and L.J. being a Communications Strategy and Operations (COMMSTRAT) Marine meant she would go on exercises for months at a time.”
The pair were married in March of last year, and two days later Guerra was in the Philippines. They say that during the first six months of marriage they only spent a total of 45 days together due to back-to-back exercises.
“ϲ has been amazing because it has given us both a chance to not only be together everyday, but also go to school together as students,” says Guerra, who was named a in September of last year.
“Coming to ϲ has been a blessing. We have been able to make up for lost time, and we can actually go out and enjoy each other’s company. Not only is it a nice break from the high op tempo that you experience in the military, it has just been nice to see each other and share a cup of coffee every morning,” says Bellitt.
L.J. Guerra (left) and Danny Bellitt
While Marine veterans Michael and Colleen Drum didn’t meet in the military, their shared experience of being Marines meant they had a lot in common already when they met while working for the (IVMF).
Colleen works as the Onward to Opportunity installation manager for Fort Drum in upstate New York. Michael is currently the national program coordinator for the Onward to Opportunity program but will soon take on a new position as the operations officer for the (OVMA).
“We met in person for the first time at the IVMF all hands meeting in 2019, we had first met on a virtual meeting before since I was remote at the time,” says Colleen, who previously worked for the IVMF in southern California prior to relocating to Central New York. “We were both veterans and we had a lot in common so it helped, especially as a female veteran it can be tough to date men who haven’t been through those same experiences, and some find the role reversal challenging.”
“As veterans we were both pretty used to tough scenarios and I think that made it a lot easier for us both to move in together finally,” says Michael.
The pair also expressed their appreciation for the IVMF’s leadership–particularly Maureen Casey, IVMF chief operating officer–for supporting their relationship. They married in Skaneateles, New York, in fall 2022 and are now expecting their first child later this year.
Colleen (left) and Michael Drum
One look at retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonels Dwayne ’97 and Allison Murray ’01 and it’s obvious the married couple exudes school spirit. Dwayne graduated from ϲ with undergraduate degrees in sociology and information studies, Allison graduated from the University’s School of Nursing. The Murrays were married in 2009 and continued to serve on active duty in the Army together, with careers spanning more than 20 years each.
They were both student athletes while earning their undergraduate degrees at ϲ. Dwayne was a member of the track and field team while Allison was a member of the cheerleading squad. Amazingly, however, they didn’t connect while on campus.
“We met while we were both in South Korea,” says Dwayne, deputy director of the OVMA. “She told me she went to a school in upstate New York, and I was like, ‘Really? Which one?’ and then she told me she went to ϲ.”
Allison, who currently serves as assistant dean for student assistance at , was a little skeptical at first when Dwayne told her he had also graduated from her alma mater. Upon producing his student ID card as proof, the two realized just how much they had in common.
Their time together in the military was no easy feat, however. They have had to overcome deployments, being stationed apart from one another for years at a time, and dealing with the military’s archaic record-keeping systems that aren’t exactly accommodating for dual-military couples.
“There are certain systems and processes that aren’t necessarily set up for dual-military couples,” says Allison, who was a cadet with the U.S. Army ROTC detachment at ϲ while she was a student. “There were so many times that someone would say, ‘Oh you’re Mrs. Murray!’ and I would have to say, “No, I’m Major Murray, or Lieutenant Colonel Murray, I’m in the service too!’ It wasn’t just the person who couldn’t grasp the concept, sometimes it was the data-entry system for things like keeping track of our children in the system and making sure they were under both of our names.”
The pair said they deliberately made the decision to not be geographically separated if at all possible, that means sacrificing potential assignments that could be better for their career progression. For two highly-ambitious people determined for success, that was a challenge in of itself.
“Thankfully we both had great mentors, people who were rock stars in the military and who were highly supportive of us,” Allison says.
“At the end of the day our goal was less about our own individual ambition, and more about the goal of keeping the family together,” says Dwayne.
The couple now have three children together: Dwayne, who is a junior in the , as well as Caleb and Malachi.
Allison (left) and Dwayne Murray
Read more love stories from students, staff and alumni by checking out the 2024 #OrangeLove photo gallery!
